©2002 Black
Rose Collection
Revision ©2005
Please note: I don't live or have ever lived in LA. I only go by what I know from other people
and what I read in magazines and such.
If my information, places, events and times are inaccurate, I apologize. Please don't send hate mail, just let me know
of the error and I will correct it. My
stories are always changing for the better and are certainly not written in
stone.
Part Two: “Without You”
Sometimes
I don't think I can live without him in my life. I’ve become spoiled and accustomed to his
presence in my everyday life. Around
him, I’m his friend, his riding buddy, someone he can trust and confide in, but
in private, I dream of him and wish he were lying next to me in this large,
empty bed. I just don't see it happening for real and
it’s sad, that the only man I want in my life, is out of reach, yet right under
my nose.
“Geez Calen, when did you write this?” Sheri asked, closing
up the laptop that was open on the bed.
She was just stepping out of the shower and was shocked to see Sheri,
not only there, but reading her diary.
She picked it up and moved it to the dresser. “How long have you been
here?” she asked. Not that she minded,
Sheri was after all her best friend and was welcome to come and go as she
pleased.
“About
10 minutes. You forgot your t-shirt last
night and left it in my car.”
“Oh,
thanks.” Calen took the shirt and put it on her dresser, covering her laptop.
“So,
like I said, when did you write this?
Last night?”
“Yeah,
you know how I feel about him.” She said flatly. “You know I have to put my feelings down or
it will eat me up.”
“I
know.” Sheri sighed.
“Anyway,
I had another dream. This time much more
vivid than the one I had a few months ago.
I confronted Tanya this time. It
was really fun, I got to call her a whole bunch of names and shit. But the best part was that in the end, Nikki
and I ended up…”
“Fucking
each other’s brains out?” Sheri interrupted.
Calen
laughed. “Yeah,
basically.”
“Wow,
that’s better than the other ones, where you wake up just before anything
happens.”
“Oh,
well, I did wake up, but at least we made it to the bed before I did.” She
sighed, throwing herself on the bed.
Sheri
slapped her on the leg, “Well, if there was anyway to get Vince to look my way,
we’d both be set.”
“Vince
likes you, I know it. He just has to
wake up and stop dating those empty-headed bimbos.”
“Oh yeah? And
when is that?” Sheri asked. She wasn't
exactly known for her patience. “Unlike
you, I don't want to wait forever for the man I want to come around. I’m tempted to just tell Vince to get with it
and see what's right in front of him.”
Calen
lowered her eyebrows at her. “Yeah,
right, and while you’re at it, why don't you just tell Nikki I love him too.”
She said sarcastically.
“Maybe
I should.” She teased, twiddling her fingers.
“Lord knows you're not gonna do it.”
“That
would be the LAST thing you did breathing too.” Calen laughed.
Sheri
dropped the subject; it was a mute point anyway. “So, are you and Romeo going
riding tonight?”
“Yep. I think I’m gonna
see if he’ll take me to the Pier. In my
dream, we went there.”
“What
did you do?”
“I
don't know. The whole dream was sketchy,
you know, in piece and parts like fast forwarding through a movie. I do know we seemed to have fun. Besides, it’s been a while since I’ve been
down there, and I need to get out and see the water, mingle with people…stuff
like that.”
“I
hear ya.” Sheri said, getting up. “You finish getting ready or you’ll be late,
I’m going by Mom’s for a bit. Call me
when you get home tonight and let me know how it goes with Nikki. I don't care what time ok? You can wake me up.”
Calen
nodded and waved as Sheri left. As she
got dressed, she pulled out her KISS rhinestone short tee and cut blue jeans,
which she had to dig for, but it was worth it.
She knew it has been a dream, but she wondered if Nikki would have the
same reaction.
********************************
Nikki
took the long way to Calen’s house so he could enjoy the view of the coming
sunset. He hoped he would get there in
time to show her the view as well. He
loved sharing stuff like that with her.
She was like no one that he had ever met before. She loved music, not just Crue,
but all music and he was always calling and asking her opinion on song lyrics
and playing cords for her to hear. They
found they had so much in common the first night they met in ’93 at Senor Frog
in LA. Calen wasn't much for clubbing,
but she had been working hard and needed a break and Sheri took her and a few
friends out for the evening. Nikki was
there with a few of his friends, but his wife at the time, Brandi, wasn't
there. Nikki immediately spotted Calen
and got up the nerve to go over and make conversation. Calen, knowing Nikki was married, kept her
distance, but socialized and was indeed thrilled to be meeting someone she had
admired for a long time. The evening was
uneventful other than pleasant conversation and lots of laughter and Nikki left
without even getting her phone number. It
would be another couple of years, and a couple of casual pass by’s on the
street before they would get a chance to talk again. Nikki was in the middle of a messy divorce
from Brandi and he was taking time out to take his kids to the Pier for a
day. Calen was there with friends and
saw Nikki sitting alone while his kids rode on some rides and decided to see
how he was doing. They ended up spending
the rest of the day together, cautiously however, considering his divorce and
he didn't want to risk time with his kids.
But, this time, before she left, Nikki asked for her phone number. Calen was dating Jeff at the time, the first
in her series of breakups and makeup’s with him, so she gave Nikki her number
without any reason to think he would call.
He called that night, and they talked for three solid hours about
everything from music and entertainment, to their home and family life. Nikki found it easy to be honest with her,
she seemed so nonjudgmental, even when he would talk about some of the ugly aspects
of his earlier career, she never flinched, or commented with a loud ‘ewwww grossssssss’. She just listened and responded with, ‘you
must have been pretty lonely’. He
admired that straightforwardness.
They
became close over the course of the next years, confiding in each other their
hopes and fears as well as dreams for the future. Nikki was the first one called after Sheri
when Calen’s grandmother died suddenly in the summer of ’96. He was the first one to be there to comfort
her, even though it was difficult to have his own sadness at the loss of his
grandmother resurface. When Jeff married
her bridesmaid behind her back, she ended up on Nikki’s doorstep, crying in the
rain. He came home to find her sobbing
and holding an envelope containing pictures and a copy of his marriage
license. He picked her up, carried her
into his house, and let her cry on his shoulder all night. She feel asleep in
his arms, a feeling he never forgot to this very day. A night where she let go
of her inhibitions and completely put her trust in him. Their friendship was sealed and in that
moment in time, he knew he would do anything to keep her from getting hurt like
that again. When Jeff smeared her in the
tabloids, he was there to support her. The next day, he took her home and
called Sheri to look after her, and when he left, he simply and calmly tracked
down Jeff at his work. Calling him
outside to his car, Nikki never said a word, but simply punched Jeff one time
in the face as hard as he could, breaking his nose. Jeff, not one to know much about music, had
no idea who Nikki was or why he has been clocked, but he has his
suspicions. Calen never knew what Nikki
did, nor did Jeff press charges, considering he hardly could describe his
assailant, much less identify him. That
was so long ago, ages it seemed to him, and their friendship has grown stronger
since then.
Nikki
was so lost in thought he almost missed the turn to Calen’s driveway. He loved her home; it was set off the road,
almost to the point that you needed a map to find it. Although she was in a middle class community,
her neighborhood was gated and more upscale, with only about 10 homes
inside. He drove up her driveway toward
her home, a seemingly small house on the outside, but inside it was huge, with
two large stories, fully open and airy.
It’s an older home, an old farmhouse that she took time and money to
restore because she fell in love with the property and area. The back of the house has a beautiful view of
the lake from every room on that end.
Her swimming pool was all rock, with a waterfall that can be programmed
to pour warm water or cool water, depending on the season. He admired the simplicity of it all, she had no need of marble floors, gold fixtures or
expensive furnishings, preferring to stick with her comfortable chenille
couches and older, refurbished tables and chairs.
************************************
Calen
could hear Nikki’s bike coming up her driveway and her heart skipped a
beat. She locked up her house, and met
Nikki in the driveway before he could even stop the bike. She hoped he wouldn’t think her overanxious,
but he just smiled at her. His breath
left him as he looked her up and down in her outfit. He loved those jeans, with the holes in all
the right places. He might be seeing
Tanya, but he still had an eye for what pleased him, and she definitely pleased
him.
He
raised his eyebrows in approval. “Nice
outfit.” He said. It was a huge
understatement.
Calen
spun for him. “I remember you liked
these jeans.”
“Ummhummm..definitely.” he said,
before thinking. He composed himself a
bit. “So, where to tonight?” he asked,
handing her a helmet.
“If
it’s cool with you, I want to go to the Pier.” She said.
“Fine with me. I haven’t been in a while.”
She
took his hand as he helped her up on the back of the bike, wrapping her arms
around his waist. “Great, then let’s get
going.” she said. She squeezed him tight
as he took off for
*************************************
The
Pier was already pretty crowded by the time they got there, but Nikki managed
to find a place close by to squeeze in the bike. After mingling through the crowd a bit,
signing autographs along the way, they were able to sit down on the benches overlooking
the water. They both began to relax a
bit.
“How’s
the movie going?” he asked, taking a quick tug on his cigarette and being
careful to blow the smoke away from her.
“Rushed.” She
signed. “We are a week behind where we
should and already over budget, but I think its gonna be a great movie.”
“You gonna take me to the premiere?” he joked.
“Sure,
and we’ll just put your girlfriend in the trunk of the limo?”
He
sneered. “You’d love that.”
Calen
giggled. “Who me?” Nikki poked her in the arm. “At least your keeping check of your mouth here lately again. How much money have you paid out?” she asked.
Nikki
scratched his chin. “Hummm…not much right now. I’m watching myself, especially around the
kids, but they know I can’t go long without a ‘fuck’ or something slipping
in. I get to pay a good deal of money to
them if I lose.”
“Well,
if I hear a stray one slip by, I won’t tell on you.”
Nikki
just laughed. He knew it was her who got
him to keep his mouth in check to begin with.
Calen wasn't one to cuss like a sailor, although she did her share when
angry, but after every other word in their conversations was a ‘fuck’, ‘shit’,
‘damn’, or variants there of, she finally commented to him, ‘you talk to your
kids with that mouth?’ They joked about
it, but he figured if it bothered her, he would keep a hold of it.
The
rest of the evening went smooth; they enjoyed simply sitting and watching the
people as they walked with her families.
It didn't take a genius to tell he missed his kids deeply, but she chose
not to open the subject. It was a
pleasant evening and she didn't want to spoil with sad talk.
By the
time midnight came around, they sat and watched the fireworks before heading
home. They both surprised themselves
when they ended up arm in arm while lost in the spectacle of the
presentation. Neither said a word about
it.
Calen,
being tired and not accustomed to staying up late due to her schedule, put her
head down on Nikki’s shoulder as they rode home. A wave of comfort and contentment shot
through both of them, but they never let on.
Neither wanted the night to end; yet they both knew it had to. Calen had to meet with her manager tomorrow,
and Nikki was visiting with his kids and taking Tanya out that night. The ride home seemed all too short for her; it
always did when she was with him. If she
had her way, he would never leave, but she accepted his life, and his
girlfriend the best she could and dealt with the depression of being away from
him, although, it wasn't usually a long absence.
Reluctantly,
she found herself at the front door of her home, fishing for her keys as
usual. She unlocked her door, and Nikki
poked his head inside to make sure things were cool, a gallant gesture he had
taken on after the Jeff incident. When
all was safe, they hugged tightly and said their goodbyes. Calen locked up the house, and flopped down
on her bed. Dialing Sheri’s number, her
eyes were getting heavier and heavier.
She barely got in two words before she was nodding off. Sheri told her to get some sleep and report
in tomorrow. She didn't even bother
taking off her clothes and went to sleep where she fell.
Nikki
always hated parting from Calen, but had to keep himself
aware of the fact that there could be nothing but friendship between them. He was sure she never saw him the way he saw
her and was convinced that allowing his feelings to surface would cause more
harm than good. As was his routine after
spending time with her, he took a very cold shower and went right to bed.
***************************************************
Over
the course of the next two weeks, neither one saw the other. They left mutual messages on each other’s
voice mail and played email tag, but their schedules were a bit hurried. Nikki was taking time to write songs and
getting them pitched to different artists, while Calen worked late hours on the
newest installment of the Star Trek movies.
Tanya,
on the other hand was feeling somewhat left out too, but wasn't about to have
her ‘man’ take time out from her to do anything. She couldn’t stand his friendship with any
woman, much less Calen. Nikki talked to
her, and about her way too much than normal in her estimation, but there wasn't
much she could do aside from forbidding him from having any contact, and that
in itself was futile. She gave up and
let him have his fun with her, and hopes he would soon grow tired of it. But, she wasn't going to sit back and watch
either. She felt she had much more to
offer than some actress that couldn’t even hold on to a boyfriend. The men piled at Tanya’s door, and she never
let anyone, including Nikki, forget it.
Nikki
was knee deep in papers and songwriting when Tanya showed up at his door. It had been close to two weeks since they
last saw each other when they took his kids to the park for the day and
although he missed her, he didn't feel like dealing with her whining just
yet. Lyrics and chords were racing
through his brain like bullet trains and he needed and appreciated the quiet to
get things done. Not to say that an
email, call or visit from Calen wouldn’t have been wanted or needed, but Calen
knew about the song writing and how much concentration it required, she would
have been perfectly content to sit back and read a book, letting him feel free
to work without having to say a word.
Nikki would prefer that too, just being in her presence was enough to
keep him fueled. Tanya didn't care for
sitting quietly; she wanted excitement and fun…she needed to be
entertained. She thought that dating a
rock star, especially the one with such a party past as Nikki would give her
the lifestyle she had craved, but now she was becoming sorely
disappointed. The party man that Nikki was had left and in its place was a man
who devoted his time writing music and spending time with his kids. Only the shell of Nikki Sixx,
the Jack-drinking, dope- smoking, heroine-addicted man, remained. Not that she wanted that part of him back,
but she would have certainly been happy with something in the middle.
Tanya
knocked on the door, and tried the knob but found it locked. She knew he was home, she saw his car, but
she began to wonder what was going on.
When she went to knock again, the door opened up and there was Nikki,
looking a bit disheveled from his long hours, yet clean-shaven and decently
dressed. He feigned a pleasant smile as
she threw herself into his arms like a teenager, and they went inside.
Nikki
resigned himself to the fact that he probably needed a
break anyway and welcomed the company and distraction, although he wished deep
in his mind it were someone else making the house call.
“You
look rough baby, how long have you been at this?” Tanya asked, picking up a
pile of papers off the floor and trying in vein to stack them.
He
took the papers and moved them to the other table and said, “A while now. I take a break when I need it, but I have
some songs to finish and I would like to get it done before the deadline.” He
sighed. “But, you're welcome to stay if
you want.”
“And
do what? Whittle? How about I knit you a scarf?”
Nikki
frowned. “Sorry, but I have to finish.”
“Look
baby, can’t you take a few minutes to relax and clear your mind?” Tanya
pouted. “I promise it will be worth your
while.”
“Hummm, I guess I could stand a bit of a break. What’d ya have in
mind?”
“How
about a ride to the Strip and lets hit some clubs?” she asked.
He
wasn’t taken by surprise that she’d want to go out, but he just wasn’t in the
mood. “Uh, I don't know…I was thinking
of something here instead.”
“Well,
I could offer you something that would take place here, but it would take place
in another room.” She cooed, wiggling her finger at him. He followed her reluctantly.
Inside
his bedroom, she slipped out of her little sundress to reveal she had on
nothing underneath. Nikki usually liked
a bit more left to the imagination, but this would do in a pinch. She walked over to him and lifted his shirt
revealing his tattooed stomach, which she began kissing and painting with long
licks of her tongue. He backed up
slowly, holding onto her until he sat down in the chair next to the bed. There, she got down on her knees and ran her
hands up his legs slowly until she reached the top of his jeans. She unbuttoned them slowly, while her mouth
never left his stomach. Nikki slipped
down in the seat, allowing her to slip her hand into the top of his pants and
freeing that part of him which had definitely awakened with the touch of her
hands. Stroking up and down, she began
licking with feathery strokes. He
grabbed her by her hair and pushed her mouth down on him, allowing himself to
go full into her mouth. Although the
sensations were pleasurable, it took all he had to concentrate on what was
going on and not to let his mind wonder.
Not that he didn't like getting a blow from his
girlfriend, but since it was at her insistence, he just didn't feel much
in the mood. He was used to being more
in control of sexual situations.
His
mind was more on Calen than anything. He
could just as easily picture her being on her knees before him, although he knew
she didn’t go for that sort of thing.
But, more importantly, he could very easily see himself lying between
her legs, watching her face as he thrust himself deep inside her. He could feel her breath on his neck as she
whispered his name over and over….
Tanya,
by contrast was so different. While she
enjoyed pleasing him, she always felt one turn deserved another though and
would insist that Nikki give her oral sex afterwards, whether he was up for it
or not. She called the shots,
period. And tonight, he again wasn’t up
for it, but to avoid Tanya’s hurt feelings, he started getting into it a
bit. Once he shot his load into Tanya’s
mouth, he knew what she wanted next. So,
he laid her down on the bed and settled down between her legs. He immediately began to think of Calen laying
there, feeling her fingers tangled in his hair, her legs around his shoulders
and he began to eat her hungrily like he was licking chocolate from a sweet
strawberry. He knew it was probably not
fair to Tanya to think of someone else, but doesn’t everyone think of a fantasy
sometimes? Tanya moaned and arched her
back, pressing herself as hard as she could against Nikki’s mouth to get all of
his tongue inside her. When she couldn’t
take anymore, she came and yelled so loud she almost shattered the
windows. Falling back on the bed, her
body relaxed and she was contented.
“Wow…you
sure were missing me.” She said, breathless.
Nikki simply smiled, she never had to be the
wiser.
**************************************
Calen
stepped inside the door, shutting and leaning against it as a sigh of utter
defeat left her lips. Her attempt at
another blind date had again been a total bust.
She had no idea why she kept allowing people, well meaning but clueless
people, to fix her up with guys she had nothing in common with. Whenever a friend said ‘oh, I know someone
who would be PERFECT for you’ she cringed and ran like a scared rabbit. But, somehow, they always talked her into
trying it, setting the guy up to be Mr. Right.
Mr. Right, however, very often turned out to be Mr. Totally Wrong, or
Mr. Completely Screwed In The Head, and she ended up
spending the night trying to find ways to bail.
She had the exact measurements for the bathroom windows in several of
the local restaurants and knew precisely where the fire alarm buttons were
located.
On
this night, her friend Marta set her up with, of all people, her brother. Marta
seemed very stable and mature, so she assumed her brother would be stable and
mature as well. That wasn't the
case. To start off, he asked if she
would pick him up at his parent’s
house, so she found out the hard way that he didn’t have his own place. Strike
One. Then, when they went out to
dinner, he whined about everything from the service being slow, to the food
being cold, and to make matters worse, when the check came, he passed it to
her. Not that she didn't mind paying,
she did have the money, but he never even offered to go dutch. So, she
found out the hard way that he also didn't have a job. Strike
Two. She made up her mind fast that
this was going to be the end of this date as soon as dinner was over. He had nothing good to say about anything,
putting down her choice of music, movies and even what she had to eat. He wasn't insulting per say, just very
negative, something that she wanted no part of.
There was one thing she found he was very good at, using his hands like
an octopus. So, she found out the hard way, he was desperate as hell. Strike
Three. The minute they left the
restaurant, his hands were all over her as she tried to drive. He kept asking over and over to go back to
her house, but she flatly refused, having no inclination of letting him see
where she lived at all. She breathed a
sign of relief when she pulled into the driveway of his parent’s house and
couldn’t wait for him to get out, but he just wouldn’t go. His hands just kept crawling all over her
like little annoying bugs. Her only
saving grace was his mother, who came to the door and called to him to come
inside like he had missed his curfew.
She let the top down on her car and let her hair down all the way home,
vowing to get even with Marta for such a lousy evening. She wanted to call Nikki and see if he was
home and free to talk, but thought about it and was sure he was either busy
working or in bed. When she got home,
she found his email however and two messages on his voice mail and that made
her night. His second message asked her
to call him when she got it, no matter what time it was. She checked the clock, it was 12:30, but
after getting undressed and in bed, she dialed his number anyway. Surprisingly, she found him still awake.
“Your
email said you were going on another blind date. How’d it go?” he asked, taking time out from
his papers.
She
laughed. “Same as
usual.”
“That bad huh?”
“Yep. Lived at home, no job, and
hands like an octopus. Need I say
more?”
“He
didn’t hurt you did he?”
“Oh, no nothing like that, just desperate.”
“Want
me to take care of it?”
“Naw, not worth it. It’s over. Thank goodness he never had my number.” She
sighed. “So, how was your evening? Have you seen Tanya?”
He
sighed. “Yeah, she’s asleep in the
bedroom.”
She
cringed. She wasn't ready for any of the
visuals. “Oh.”
“So,
are you going to be at my birthday party next week or will you go home to
Calen
sat full up. She had almost forgotten
about Nikki’s birthday. “Yeah, I plan to
be there. Mom’s family’s Christmas party
is on the 23rd, I can make it in enough time to get there. What present do you want?”
I know what I want… He smiled brightly, but kept silent. “I don't need a thing, just have everyone
come and have a good time.”
“Sounds fair enough. Is Tanya going to be there?”
“Yeah,
she is.” Nikki said. She noted a bit of
disappointment in his tone, but said nothing to call his attention to it. “You got a date?”
“Nope. I think Sheri was planning on going too. She is determined to get Vince to notice
her.”
“Oh
yeah?” he asked, a bit shocked. “He
already notices her.”
“He
does? You know Sheri and her patience,
she wants Vince to come around and ask her out.”
“I
don’t see Sheri being chicken like that.”
“No,
she isn’t chicken, she just thinks the guy should do
the asking first. So, she plans on doing
everything she can to get Vince to ask first.
See?”
“Hummmm…” he hummed in the phone. “Maybe the both of us can play cupid at the
party and get them in the same place, perhaps lock the door and wrap them both
in tinsel?”
She
laughed out loud. It was an excellent
idea. “Sounds like a plan to me, lets do
it. At least someone around here can get
lucky.”
“You’ll
find someone Cally, don't worry, he’s out there, waiting for you.” He said,
referring to himself, yet never let on.
Calen
sighed, wishing with all her might she could agree with him. The perfect man was out there of course, she
was talking to him. “Well, if you see him, tell him to come my way, I’m getting
impatient waiting for senility to set in.”
He
chuckled. If you only knew how close
I was…he thought to himself. For a
brief moment, out of sheer sympathy and affection, he summoned up the courage
to confess. “Cally…I…” he started.
“Yeah?”
she asked.
“I…”
he started again, trying to put together the words to say what he felt, he
thumbed through his papers, thinking a song lyric might help. “You know how I feel about you…”
“Yeah.”
“Nikki, you coming to bed?” Tanya called out from the bedroom, stopping him cold in
his tracks. Probably best, he had lost
his nerve anyway.
“I
hear Tanya.” Calen sighed. “You better
join her; you need to get some sleep.”
“You're
right. I’m tired.” He replied.
“If
you decide to finish your sentence, email me, ok?” she joked.
“Sure. Talk to ya later.”
He said, before hanging up.
“Who
were you talking to?” Tanya asked him when he joined her in bed. She was still half asleep, so he avoided a
fight.
“No
one, its not important, go to sleep.” He said, gently
kissing her on her cheek. He rolled over
and willed himself to sleep, cursing himself.
**************************************
Sheri
walked into Calen’s house to find her in her closet, on her knees, tearing up
everything inside. She cleared her
throat to get her attention, startling her so much she that when she turned her
head to see who was there, she banged it head on the door frame. “Ugh…!” she cried out.
“I
tried to be as quiet as I could.” Sheri cringed and said apologetically. “What
in the world are you doing in there?” she asked.
Calen
sneered at her a bit, but wasn't upset. “Trying to find my black leather skirt. I swore I picked it up from the cleaners, but
I can’t find it.” She replied, burying herself in a pile of clothes. “Damnit! Why can’t I ever find something when I need
it?”
Sheri
sat down on the bed. “What do you need
the skirt for?”
“For Nikki’s party tonight. I want to wear my
black turtleneck, black leather vest and black leather skirt with black boots
and dark stockings. I have everything
else, but I can’t find the fucking skirt.”
Sheri
laughed out loud at her friend’s forgetfulness and full-blown panic. “That’s because you loaned it to me.”
Calen
jumped straight up. “What? I did?”
“Yep. Its in my closet.”
She
sighed, sitting back against the wall.
“Shit….I remember now. Have you worn it yet?”
“No, I
was going to wear it tonight to the party, but since you seem to need it so much, I guess I’ll go get
it.”
“You
have great skirts in your closet. Nikki
really likes my black leather skirt. I
have to wear it.”
“I
know sis. It’s cool, I can wear
something else.”
Calen got
up and started picking up her clothes.
“Then why am I panicking?” she laughed.
Sheri simply shook her head.
“I’ll
pick you up at seven.” Sheri said, getting up.
“I’ll run home and get you the skirt.
It’s still in the dry cleaning plastic.”
“Great!
I want to look just right for
Nikki. I certainly can’t let Tanya out
do me. Even if she is
about eight years younger and two dress sizes smaller.”
“She’s
too small. If you turn her sideways, she
disappears. She needs to learn to eat.”
Sheri said proudly. “You don't have a
thing to worry about.”
“I
know, I know…but…”
Sheri
stood up. “I know too. You kill me with all this Nikki talk. Tonight you're gonna
tell him the truth, or I will.”
“You
have to deal with Vince tonight.” Calen shot back. “You won’t have time to deal with me and
Nikki.”
They
both laughed. “We’ll see…” Sheri said
smugly. She wasn't about to get let
Vince or anyone else get the better of her.
**************************************
The
birthday party was going strong as the evening set in. People were mingling, eating and enjoying
themselves, while Nikki played host and Tanya attempted to play hostess, asking
if everyone wanted more caviar (there was no caviar to begin with) and if they
needed more drinks (not knowing that the party was non-alcoholic out of respect
for Nikki’s sobriety and the fact that children were present). The friends and family at the party, while
nice to her, knew what her game was, even if Nikki refused to see it, she made
it abundantly clear that she was trying to hard to fit into his world, or the
world she perceived him to be in.
“Looks like someone’s been watching reruns of Lifestyles
of the Rich and Famous.” Nikki’s
sister Celia said in Calen’s ear as she passed on the way to the kitchen. Calen couldn’t help but giggle out loud and
follow her.
“Yeah,
or an episode of Cribs, but on the wrong person, considering Nikki hasn’t done
one.” She responded.
Celia
laughed and nodded in agreement. “Having a good time?” she asked, taking a sip
of her coffee.
“Yeah, a great time. I love the new parts of the
house he added.” Calen responded.
“I do
too.” She agreed. “And I do know one thing, Vince and Sheri have been getting chummy.”
Calen
raised her eyebrows. “You noticed too
huh?”
“It s
pretty obvious they like each other, but they can’t seem to do anything about
it.”
Calen
leaned in closer. “Well, Nikki and I
have that worked out. We plan to lure
them downstairs and lock them in the music room. Nikki is the only one with a key and it’s in
the top drawer of his dresser. I know it
seems juvenile, but maybe it will give them time to be alone and talk.”
“That’s
sounds like a good idea.” Celia said, hiding her big smile in her cup of
coffee. Her mind was working on a plan
of her own. It wasn't that she didn't
like Tanya, she didn't know her very well, but she did like Calen, and knew
Nikki did also, although he had never confided in her. Her women’s intuition could tell her easily
that Nikki would rather be with Calen than anyone, and vice versa.
Calen
left the kitchen and immediately spotted Sheri and Vince talking in the corner
all to themselves.
She decided that now was a good time as any to get them downstairs
together, so she walked outside to find Nikki and see if he was still willing
to help. She stood by herself, watching
the crowd as the listened to the band Vince had hired to play a couple of sets
and found herself recalling that this was the same band that played at Vince’s
party in her dream weeks ago. It still
played in her head like it was yesterday, she knew the dream was just all in
her mind, but she couldn’t help but think of how similar things were
happening. She chalked it up to the fact
that she already knew about the party and the band, and it just played into the
dream.
Hands
running around her hips in an embrace, and a kiss on her neck shocked her. She started to spin around to deck the loser
who dared try to get his hands on her when she looked down and saw the all-too
familiar S-I-X-X on the man’s fingers.
She grinned brightly and allowed the affection.
“Better
not let Tanya see you do that.” She said jokingly,
although she couldn’t care less.
“I
know.” He replied, keeping his hold on her.
“I was just wondering if you were enjoying yourself. I’m sorry I haven’t been around to be social,
but there's tons of people.”
“It’s
cool.” She said, turning around to face him. “I was looking for you to see if
you were still with me in locking up Sheri and Vince in the music room.”
“Oh hell yeah. When did you want to give it a go?” he answered
enthusiastically.
“No
time like the present. They're alone
inside last I looked. How do we get them
downstairs?”
“That’s
no problem. I already told Vince I have
new tunes downstairs and he said he wanted to listen to them before he
left. What about Sheri?”
“Are
you kidding? Just the fact that Vince is
downstairs and alone will be enough to get her down there. Thing is, they are together, so they might go
downstairs together with us. We won’t
have to work on them separately.”
Nikki
grabbed her hand. “Good idea. While everyone is listening to the band,
let’s do it.”
They
went inside and found Sheri and Vince still in the corner talking like there is
no one else in the world but them. “Hey
man…” Nikki started. “Those new tunes
are downstairs, wanna come
give ‘em a listen?”
Vince
smiled, leaning into Nikki a bit. “Later
dude, were talking.”
“She
can come too, she loves listening to new music.” Calen said, winking at Sheri,
whose eyes got wide as saucers.
Vince
turned to Sheri. “You don't mind?”
“I
don't mind at all.” Sheri replied cautiously, keeping her eyes cut on Calen.
“Cool
deal. After me then.”
Nikki said. The four of them headed
downstairs and Nikki drifted back a bit and whispered to Calen. “We will all go inside and when Vince and
Sheri are listening to the tapes, we’ll slip out and I’ll lock the door.” Calen
nodded in agreement.
When
they reached the music room, Nikki turned on the lights and went over to the
shelf where the tapes were. He picked
one and put it in the player. Nikki and
Calen slowly began to back off towards the door as they all listened to the new
music. But things didn't go quite as
planned. Just as Nikki was reaching for
the door, it slammed shut hard. The four of them stood stunned as they heard
the door being locked. Nikki ran to it
and tried the knob, it was definitely locked tight.
“What
happened?” Sheri asked.
“I
don't know, someone has locked us all in here.” Nikki
said, trying the door again.
Calen
touched his arm. “What the hell is going
on?” she asked.
“I
don't know. There’s no way that door can
lock without someone locking it.” He replied, perplexed.
Just
then, they heard the soft sound of laughter coming from behind the door. They all looked at one another as a note slid
under the door and his Nikki’s shoe. He
picked it up and read it:
Thought you ALL could
use some time alone together. Have fun
and I will unlock the door later.
Love,
Celia
Nikki
rolled his eyes and put the note in his pocket.
“What did it say?” Sheri asked.
“It’s
my sister’s idea of a little joke. She
will let us out later.” He said but inside he was fuming. He had no idea how she found out they were
coming down here or where they key was to begin with. Calen was also upset. She didn't like the idea of being alone with
Nikki like this, with Tanya just upstairs.
“I’m
sorry for all this.” Calen told Nikki in private. “I confided our plan in Celia earlier
tonight. I had no idea she would play
the joke on us too. At least she does
know where they key is.”
“Its cool. Celia is
just being herself, goofin’ off.” He replied, sitting
down by the door. “Lets just make the
best of it till she let’s us out.”
Sheri
and Vince already seemed to be making the best of it. They were in the far corner having a very
animate conversation, but with the loud music, neither Calen nor Nikki could
make out the words. The two of them
looked at each other and crossed their fingers in hopes they were opening their
hearts to each other. Nikki pulled
Calen down next to him on the small chair and he put his arm around her. She rested her head on his chest as they
watched the drama unfolding in the other end of the room.
“How
long have you felt like this?” Vince asked, shocked at Sheri’s sudden
confession of love for him.
“A while now. I just didn't wanna
say anything. You seemed to be enjoying
the freedom of dating with no commitment.” She replied, relieved it was finally
in the open.
“I had
always wanted to ask you out for some time, but wasn't sure you would want to.”
Vince confessed, sounding like a bad movie script. They both laughed and hugged each other
tightly.
“So,
what do we do?” she asked in his ear.
“I
don't know, but I do know we need to take it slow. I don't wanna fuck
this up like I have so many other things in my life.”
“I
agree. I won’t let you fuck this
up. I think since we have gotten to be
friends first, we can make it work.”
“Well,
Neil is racing on Sunday, you wanna
come with me to cheer him on?”
Sheri
smiled brightly. “I would love to.”
Although
both wanted to take it slow, it didn't last but two seconds. Vince and Sheri’s lips found each other’s and
they leaned in against the wall, kissing as if there was no air. Nikki and Calen, watching from the other side
of the room, smiled at each other in triumph.
“I guess the plan worked, they're kissing.” Calen said.
“Yep. Something had to happen, they were trapped
down here.” Nikki said. He knew the
reason his sister had done what she did.
He didn't have say anything for her to know that he wanted to be with
Calen. He was determined not to give in
and ruin a great friendship just because his sister thought she knew what was
best for him.
“I
love the music by the way, especially the bass chords.” Calen commented. “You never did teach me to play bass like you
promised.”
Nikki
got up and reached around for his bass.
“We have the time, so let’s give it a go.” He said, scooting behind
Calen and placing the bass in her lap.
Her
heart leapt into her throat. “Ok. But please, don't try to tell me the
technical stuff just yet, I know wont be able to follow. Just put my fingers where they should go,
that’s something I can understand.” She advised, relishing in the feel of his
hands on hers.
“Ok,
so what do you wanna try?” he scratched his
chin. “Hummm..anything you like?”
“You
said you’d show me how to play the intro to Primal Scream.”
“Yeah,
I remember. Ok, here, put your fingers
here.” He instructed, placing her fingers in the right places. He started slowly, playing one note at a
time, showing her where each note begins.
When he got finished with a few chords, he let her try by herself. She did miss a note or two, but didn't do too
bad. She enjoyed trying anyway, whether
she understood or not. Nikki nuzzled her
neck a bit, smelling the sweet smell of her perfume, but didn't dare go any
farther in fear of something stirring down below that would be almost
impossible to hide.
“So,
how was that?” she asked, when she finished.
“Very good. You can carry a tune much better than I could
when I started. The rest is just
practice, practice, and more practice.” He said, watching while she played
randomly for fun. The temptation to
confess was almost getting the better of him, especially after they both looked
up and saw the Sheri and Vince were getting very, very cozy in the back
corner. Both Nikki and Calen were in an
uncomfortable situation, so they decided to focus on music instead. Nikki put away his bass and got out his stack
of new song lyrics to show her. Amazingly, the places where he was stumped and at a loss for words,
she was able to fill in. He was
grateful for the help and put her name on the songs she helped him with.
“You
don't have to do that.” She said. “I
just helped with a few words. Just leave
my name off, ok?”
“You sure? You helped a lot and I think you deserve some
credit.”
“I’m
sure. I was glad to help and I don't
need the recognition for it.”
“Ok,
its cool either way.” He said, erasing her name from the credits. But, when she got up to put another tape in
the player, he smiled as he put her name back on and put the papers back on the
stack. Calen sat back down and settled
into Nikki’s open arms. They held each
other, listening to the new music and watching the budding new romance between
Sheri and Vince until they heard the key to the door being unlocked. They both stood up quickly, hoping Tanya
wasn't with Celia. When the door opened,
Vince and Sheri never made a move, just preferring to stay in the corner and enjoy
one another, but Nikki grabbed Calen by the hand and walked out in the hallway.
“Have
fun you two?” Celia asked.
“Cute
joke, leaving us in here for a half hour, everyone will wonder where I am.”
Nikki sneered under his breath. Celia
peeked in and noticed Vince and Sheri.
“At
least it worked for them two.” She said, walking back to the stairs with Nikki
and Calen.
“Yeah,
it did. It didn't take long either.”
Calen agreed.
“There
you are!” Tanya exclaimed, coming down the stairs like mad. She threw her arms around Nikki’s neck. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”
“I’ve been
down here showing Vince some new music.” He replied, conveniently leaving out
the part of being locked inside. Celia
also kept silent, as did Calen. Tanya
glared at Calen.
“Well
baby, let’s go upstairs ok? People are
missing you.” Tanya begged, taking Nikki’s hand. He reluctantly went upstairs with her,
leaving Celia and Calen lagging behind.
Calen
sighed. “I wish you wouldn’t have done
that Celia. If Tanya had found out, it
would’ve been bad for Nikki.”
“Sorry. I truly only meant well for both of you. It doesn’t take a genius to see that both of
you feel something, I just had hoped you could have confessed it. I hate that it didn't work out.”
“Look,
I’ll say this one time. Nikki and I are
friends, close friends. I enjoy his
company and love being around him, talking to him, and riding with him. That’s all it can be between us,
friendship. Now, please, for his sake,
lets just drop it, ok?”
Celia
relented and resigned herself to defeat.
They both went upstairs to the party and left Vince and Sheri alone.
********************************************
“Ohhhhhh…man, what a party….” Calen stretched, and relaxed
on the couch. It was after two in the
morning, and she was tired and ready to go home, but Sheri was still MIA with
Vince. Tanya was arguing with the
caterers about the bill and Nikki was thanking the band and signing autographs
for them after a long night of playing.
When he came back inside to find Calen alone, he sat down next to her.
“Still
no sign of Sheri?” he asked. She nodded,
letting her head fall back on the couch and trying not to doze. “Why don't you crash here tonight?” he asked.
It was
a strong consideration, but decided against it, for obvious reasons. “Naw…its cool. I’m sure
she will be up here any minute, but thanks for the offer.” She smiled at him
and he smiled back.
“Nikki
baby, has everyone gone?” Tanya asked, walking in from the kitchen. She stopped when she spotted Nikki and Calen
so close on the couch. Calen immediately
got up.
“Sheri,
Vince and I are the only ones left. As
soon as they get upstairs, we’ll be going too.” she assured a jealous Tanya.
“We’re
here…” Sheri said, walking into the living room. “We lost track of time, sorry, you ready to
go?”
“Yes,
so ready. I’m exhausted and want some
sleep.” She replied, relieved. She
approached Nikki and hugged him, but not long since she was being watched like
a hawk. “I had a great time…and Happy
Birthday.” She whispered in his ear. He
smiled at her and watched her leave, wishing she could have stayed with him all
night.
****************************************
I arrived home from spending the holidays with
my family a couple of hours ago. I just
got through opening several emails from Nikki and answering phone messages. What a wonderful way to come home! I missed him terribly and wished he could
have gone home with me to begin with.
God, what do I do? This is
getting outta hand!
All I do is think about him. I
don't understand why, after all this time, I just can’t
seem to shake these feelings. I haven’t
seen him yet since his birthday party and I really want to, but maybe its best I stay away and keep my distance. Oh, who the hell am I fooling? I can’t stay away. I just can’t do it. Someone help me…I’m losing control.
Tanya
was hanging around at Nikki’s house, trying to find some time alone with him
and away from his busy writing. He was
showering when Tanya decided to pick up and tidy the bedroom, removing and
restacking his papers. She noticed,
however, that Calen’s name was on a couple of songs and became very upset. Then she found another, then
another…five songs in all that had her name on them. She lost it.
How dare he write songs with her!
She’s not a songwriter or a musician; she’s just a stupid actress! SON OF A BITCH!! She thought to herself as she tore up the
songs into tiny pieces. That’ll show em…her mind raced as she took the pieces of the songs
and threw them in the toilet and flushed, watching them spin around and
disappear. Satisfied, she returned to
the bedroom and continued to clean up, with Nikki totally unaware of what had
happened.
When
he finally emerged from the shower, wet and dripping, he found Tanya lying down
on the bed, now free of his papers. He
stopped cold in his tracks. “Uh, where’s my papers?” he asked.
She
pointed to the desk. “Over there, I
cleared them out so you could take a break.”
He put
on his clothes, then walked over to the stack and tried looking them over,
irritated. “I wish you’d left these
alone Tanya, I had them where I wanted them for reference.”
She
pouted. “I just wanted to help.”
“I
know, but now I have to sort these all over again. Hold on.” He paused, beginning to frantically
search through his papers. “Where is the
song I was just working on? Have you
seen it, it was on top of the pile?”
Tanya
pretended not to know. “What was the
name of it?”
“It’s
not important, but it had….it had Calen’s name on it. Wait a minute, all the
songs that had her name on them are gone.” He glared at Tanya, who was trying
to act innocent, but it didn't work.
“What did you do with the songs?”
“Why
do you assume I did anything?”
“Because…”
he started to get angry. “Before I got a
shower, the songs were sorted on the bed, and when I got out, they were all
stacked by you on the desk. You saw the songs didn't ya? Now, tell me where they are.”
“What
difference does it make, its just a page with words on
it Nikki…DAMNIT!! Why do you always get so pissy
where she is concerned?” she yelled at him.
He
threw on his shirt and shoes, trying not to lose his temper. “She is my friend Tanya,
she helped with the words, that’s all.”
Tanya
had enough of his excuses and his relationship with Calen. “That’s not all Nikki and you know it. All you do is talk about her, and talk to
her. You email her, leave messages and
see her whenever you get a chance. I’m
tired of being second to you and your ‘friendship’ with her. She is a bitch, who has her sites set on you;
she wants you and your too damn stupid or too damn
blind to realize it!
Nikki
threw up his hands in frustration. He
knew all too well that arguing would be pointless now that she has her mind set
on something. He picked up his papers
and put them in his desk drawer and started to walk out. She hated it when Nikki wouldn’t fight back
and hated it more when he left. “You wanna know what I did with those songs do you??? I FLUSHED
THEM!! They were crap and that’s where crap belongs, in the TOILET!” she screamed
behind him as he got the keys to his car.
He cringed in anger, tempted to throw her out on her ass, but kept it in
check.
“Don't
be here when I get back.” He spat before shutting the door on her. He could hear her hollering obscenities at
him from inside, but he didn't care. He
knew she would calm down eventually, but was glad he had locked the desk and
locked the music room. Her anger could
easily be taken out on his guitars and music equipment.
His
mind wondered back, trying to figure out what attracted him to Tanya in the
first place. It was actually Tommy who
set them up on their first date 6 months ago.
She was an extra on the syndicated show Son of the Beach and Tommy
thought she and Nikki might hit it off.
They did, at first anyway. After
a couple of months, Tanya seemed to get jealous very easily of anyone, from his
sister, to Calen, to even his kids. He
couldn’t see the reason for it, considering he was lavishing a great deal of
time and energy on her. Now, it just
seemed all they did was fight and her jealousy was consuming her to the point
of being out of control. He just didn't
know how much more he could take.
It
didn't take long before he found himself at the gate of Calen’s
neighborhood. The guard smiled as Nikki
stopped and rolled down his window, “Mr. Sixx.” He
said politely.
“Is
Miss McGregor home?” Nikki asked.
“Yes, sir. She came home about an hour and a half ago.”
He replied as he pushed the button on the gate, it groaned and creaked as it
swung open and Nikki drove on.
Calen was sitting on her bed, finishing the
last of her journal entries and trying to unpack the last of her suitcases when
the doorbell rang. She went over and
checked the door monitor and was thrilled to see Nikki standing there. She immediately ran upstairs in a frantic
mess to the door, but stopped so she wouldn’t seem overanxious.
“Hey
you!” she said, opening the door and letting him inside, she looked at his face
and knew something was up. “What's up?”
He
sighed. “Nothing. I didn't come over here to bitch about me and
Tanya’s problems.” He replied, walking downstairs with Calen in tow. “I’m glad to see you’re back. How was
“It
was fine. Now, what's going on with
you?” she asked, not letting him off the hook one bit.
Nikki
ran his fingers through his hair. “I
don't know what's going on with Tanya.
She is so…controlling. You know
those songs you helped me with? She
threw them in the toilet and flushed them.”
Her
face twisted with confusion. “How did
she know I helped you with them?”
“Well…I
sorta put your name back on ‘em. As a surprise to you for
helping.”
“I
told you that you shouldn’t do that. I
knew it would make a stink if Tanya found out.”
“I
didn't think she cared, or would see it anyway, she has lost interest in anything
I’ve been doing lately.” He sighed again.
He wanted to embrace, hold or even kiss her, so he changed the
subject. “What are you doing?” He just
didn't want to think about Tanya anymore.
“Unpacking
the last of my suitcases and washing my clothes.” She replied, pointing to the
bedroom where she had clothes thrown all over the floor. “I need to finish, so you can come in and
visit while I sort, ok?”
“Sure,
you don't mind?”
“Of course not. I missed ya, I wanna hear about the kids’ Christmas.”
They went
together to the bedroom and Nikki sat down on her bed while she sat on the
floor, sorting clothes to either put away or wash. Little did she know,
that she had forgotten to shut off her laptop, which was semi-buried under a
pile of clothes on the bed.
“Well,
you first, how was Christmas? How’s your Grandma?”
“It
was fine. My mom’s family got together
this year and I got to see some relatives I haven’t seen in a couple of
years. Let’s see, I went on Christmas eve and put flowers on Granny and Papa’s grave, and on my
brother’s grave too. They were missing
their vases, so I put the flowers on the ground next to them and alerted the
cemetery people that they needed to order new ones.”
“Why
wasn't that found before?”
“Well,
Mom and Dad don't go to the cemetery.
They feel that it doesn’t do any good to go to a place where they really
aren’t there to begin with. They said
their goodbyes before the funeral they said, so going there seems. I’m the only one that goes,
I do it just for my comfort and take care of them. But, I can only get there once or twice a
year, so if something like this happens, I catch it
when I can.”
“I
understand that. How is Grandma
feeling?”
“She’s
doing well. She’s regaining a lot of
strength back since she got home from the hospital. Oh, and Mom and Dad asked about you.”
Nikki
smiled. “They did?”
“Yeah,
they asked how you were doing. Mom
hadn't seen you since the last time they visited here over a year ago.”
“That’s
true. I love your Mom,
I can’t wait for another visit. I have
never seen anyone who not only put up with my tats, but showed an interest in ‘em” He laughed.
The
phone rang, but she wasn't in the mood to answer. “I’ll let the machine get it, it’s probably
Sheri anyway.” She sighed.
They
both sat and waited for the beep.
Hey… Calen baby, it’s
you know who. Just
wanted to see if you were back in town.
I just got home and maybe you can call me and we can get together, I’m feelin a bit horny for your sweet pussy baby doll. You know, a dive in your fuzzy little cunt
would just make my night. Later sexy…
They
both sat straight up and Calen blushed.
It was Jeff. Nikki wasn't
thrilled a bit to hear his voice. “How
long has he been calling you?” he asked.
“He
called before I left for the holidays. I
hadn't heard from him in like two years, but the marriage between him and Angie
fizzled. He tried to apologize for what
he did, you know, saying I was right for leaving him and all that shit. It was my fault for even picking up the
phone, but I didn't know it was him.
He’s called a few times since then.
I have tried to explain that there’s no going back, but he doesn’t seem
to listen.”
“Has
he been that nasty all the time?” he asked, ringing his hands.
“Yeah,
pretty much. But, I can handle it.”
“That
mother fuckin’ son of a bitch!” Nikki yelled, getting
up and almost punching the wall. “After
what I did to that cunt face and he has the nerve to try and fuck with you
again?”
“What
do you mean, what YOU did to HIM? What
did you do?”
“Uh…”
he stammered. “Well, after the night he
slammed you in the tabloids, I went to his work, and I lost my cool. I decked him and broke his nose.”
She
dropped her head. “Ohhh
Nikki, that was you?”
“It
was a long time ago.”
“I
know, but still…never mind. I should
have known it was you.”
“Well
apparently he didn't learn his lesson.
The next time I see that prick, I’m gonna cut
his dick off and shove it down his throat!”
Calen
stood up. “You’re not either. You're gonna leave
him alone and keep your ass outta jail. I don't feel like wiring money for your bail
like I did when you kicked the security guard in the head. If he keeps it up, I’m gonna
call Tim and have him put in jail and file a restraining order. Until then, I
can handle it.”
“Damnit, you shouldn’t have to handle it. You shouldn’t have to deal with any of
this. I swear…I hate that prick.” Nikki
growled.
Calen
smiled. “Well, before you call out the
When
Calen walked out of the room, Nikki tried to let his anger go for her sake by
sitting back on her bed and reading a magazine she left on her nightstand. Bored with that, he got mischievous and
started peeking through the pile of clothes on the bed. Not usually one to be nosey, he just couldn’t
help himself when he saw a pair of her underwear sitting on top of the
pile. He picked them up to inspect them
closer. He liked what he saw, they were soft cotton…blue. Not a thong, but definitely bikini. He put them to his cheek and liked what he
felt as well. But, he was too ashamed to
take them home so he put them back where he found them.
Then
he saw the open laptop underneath and went to close it. Finding it was still
on; he picked it up to move it when he saw that what was on the screen was her
diary entries. He didn't want to read
it, but his curiosity over came him.
Seeing his name in the text, he had to see what was being said about
him. He began to read from the beginning
of the month’s journal, which began after the concert they had done in early
December. The more he read, the more his
heart melted. He couldn’t believe that
what he was reading was true. He tried
to put it down, but he just kept reading more and more of what she had
typed. Her words rang in his mind…My
God, he’s perfect, he continued to read each and
every entry. His mind knew it was wrong,
but his heart knew it was right. How
could she keep this from him all this time?
“What are
you doing?” Calen yelled, running back in the room, grabbing the laptop from
him and shutting it. He was shocked,
embarrassed and ashamed of himself for his actions. She saw in his face that he had read it all,
everything she had confessed, her most intimate dreams and fantasies about
him. They both stood for a moment and
looked at one another before Calen put the laptop on the dresser and walked
toward the door.
“Stop…don't
go, we need to talk about his.” He begged.
“You wanna talk? Consult
my laptop, it apparently has all the answers.” She
replied, walking back into the den and toward the back door, wanting
desperately to escape. He followed,
determined not to let this slip away.
He
grabbed her arm. “Please baby, let’s
just talk, ok?”
She
didn't reply, but sat down on the couch.
Nikki sat next to her, not sure what to say. “I’m sorry.
I certainly didn't mean to read what I did. I found it on and open on the bed and was
honestly gonna shut it off when I saw my name.” She didn't say a word so he continued. “What you wrote was beautiful. You have a great style…” his voice trailed
off when he saw a tear run down her cheek.
“Baby, talk to me…please.”
“I
didn't mean for you to see any of that.
It’s private. Not even Sheri has
seen all of it. We’re friends and how I
feel about you shouldn’t interfere with any of that.” She sighed.
He
touched her hand. “I care about you more
than any other woman I’ve ever known.
That’s the God’s honest truth.
Your friendship pulled me through some bad times and your support never
wavered, even when I got into trouble doing stupid shit. You’ve never let me down or put me down for
anything, even when I know some of your ‘
“I’m
glad I’m important in your life Nikki, cause you’re
important in mine. But, the issue is,
you need to tell me the reasons the two of us can’t happen, and be quick about
it so I can finish my laundry.” She said, a tone of
defeat in her voice. Nikki smiled at her.
“As many times that I’ve pictured me confessing my
feelings for you Cally, I never pictured I would have to get it in before your
clothes get outta the washer.” He joked.
She
turned to look at him. “You confess?”
“Yeah
baby. Me…not you. As cliché as it sounds, here it goes. Calen, I’m in love with you. I’ve loved you for a long time now, so I know
it isn’t a fleeting or passing thing.
All the times we have been alone I have wanted to tell you, but I knew,
or felt that our friendship would be ruined by us taking it to another
level. I also didn't know you felt the
way you did, or I would have had this talk a long time ago and avoided a lot of
lonely nights.”
“What
about Tanya?”
“Man…”
he started, not sure what to say. “I
would be lying if I said I never cared about her, but…I don't know, she just
doesn’t make me feel the way you make me feel, she never did. I always want you around me, no matter what
I’m doing. I think about you all the time, even when Tanya and I are…uh, never mind.” He stopped
before he said more than he should have.
“You
thought about me while you were….uh, with Tanya?” she asked in
astonishment.
He
nodded. “I dream about you, so why
wouldn’t I fantasize about you too?”
“I
guess if I can, you can too.” She laughed.
His
eyes widened. “You did? When?
Did you have a date or a fuck with someone you didn't tell me about?”
She
laughed out loud. “Yeah, I did. It was wide, about 6 inches long, and made of
rubber.” Nikki burst out laughing. “Hey,
I was desperate! That’s all I had at the
time!”
Nikki
turned serious for a second, moving closer to her. “Well, you don't have to worry about that
anymore.” Her body went limp at the
prospect of them making love right then and there. She was nervous as hell, and for that matter,
so was he. “If I have anything to say
about it, you will never have to feel desperate again.” He said, leaning down
to kiss her.
Their
lips didn't quite touch right away as they both felt each other out. They just looked at each other while their
hands ran up the other’s arms. Their
touch was so electric that sparks almost flew from them. Nikki gently lifted her chin to face him and
cautiously pressed his lips on hers. The
taste of her lips only made him want more and he eagerly searched her lips for
another. Their tongues touched and
brushed against one another and he could hear and feel a moan leave her
mouth. Calen leaned up on one knee on
the couch and put her arms around his neck, grabbing the back of his hair to
get a better hold on him, while his hands ran down her back, settling on her
ass, which he pressed hard against him.
Their passion was growing steadily, and something else was stirring in
Nikki, and fast. He wanted her, more
than he had wanted anyone ever, but his mind still panicked at the thought of
being with her. Would he be good enough
for her? Would it be all they fantasized
about? All of a sudden, it all didn't
matter; he just wanted to be inside her.
“Stay
with me Nikki.” She said under her breath.
“I have no intention of leaving. The night is yours, what do you want? Anything. Just tell me.” She lost her thoughts as she felt his breath on her neck. “We don't have to do anything but hold each other all night, I don't care,